Buckeye Road

Everyone Plays Dirty

It was bad enough that none of you told me about The Wire and I had to discover it all on my own.

Now I've had a similar delicious experience with Footballers Wive$. (Yes, spelled that way. The dollar sign is silent. Or, for Google's sake, Footballers Wives.)

Why didn't any of you tell me about this wicked Brit soap? Maybe none of y'all get BBC America. But some of you do live in the bloody U.K. -- so there's naught an excuse.

Thankfully, EW TV maven Alynda Wheat got me the hook up with this tantalizing write-up about the new season. For those of you in the U.K. (who shamefully never told me about the Wive$), our new season is the third series (I think you are on something like the fifth over there).

Even more thankfully, our new digital cable service includes not only BBC America, but also BBC America On Demand -- for free! (Well, included in the monthly fee.) So I can watch the shows on On Demand whenever I want. I had loads of fun with Mile High (the show about really slutty flight attendants) that way.

So, over the last few days, I watched the whole second series. At first, I thought I'd only watch a single episode. But, look, mates: you can't just watch a single episode. This show is so outrageous and manages, somehow, to keep upping the ante in terms of sex and scandalousness.

An example (without giving much away): A major plot line from the first series involved team captain Jason Turner having an affair with his younger teammate Kyle's mother Jackie, who got pregnant and told Jason she had an abortion. In fact she snuck off to Florida with her daughter-in-law, the former "glamour" (i.e., topless) model Chardonnay (yes, it's that good). Since Chardonnay and Kyle can't have kids, they are going to adopt Jackie's baby as their own. Not knowing, of course, that in fact it's the progeny of Kyle's egomaniacal team captain.

And that's just in the first episode of the second series. I won't say any more about it, because you really should (in Alynda's words) Turn. It. On. There are so many Oh-Shite, I Can't Believe She Did That moments -- so, so good!

My favorite character, of course, is gold-digging blonde bombshell Tanya, who is the series' devious heart. Her story lines are even more outrageous than what I mentioned above. She and Jason are fused together in their codependency and contempt for each other, which makes for great melodrama. I really shouldn't tell you any more details, I'll just say that my favorite is probably her surprise for him in the second series finale (when they renew their vows), although the bit with the birth control pills is a close second.

If you go to the BBC America home page, you can play an exciting commercial for the new season, including what may be my favorite new line, from new star (and omnisexual hunk) Conrad: "Do you know how to cheer a boy up, Mrs. Laslitt?"

Now there's just one problem: I found the series AFTER the third season's first episode was shown last Sunday. And, it turns out, with our fancy digital cable, we are unable to tape the extra digital channels (like BBC America) on the VCR!

They're replaying last week's episode at midnight, followed by tonight's episode at 1 a.m. I am totally staying up to watch both. I may post something after (i.e., later tomorrow).

For now, I'm going to have to take a disco nap -- fitting, given the show's opening sequence!

posted by BT @ 8:15 PM